5 Spring Renewal Tips for the Exhausted

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Women frequently tell me how exhausted they feel. I get it. Imitating Superwoman is exhausting.

In 2013, Lifetime’s “The Week the Women Went” gave us the rather unreal, reality TV version of what might happen if we women just stopped doing all we do. The so-called social experiment series followed families of Yemassee, South Carolina for a week in which 150 of the community’s adult women left town, leaving the men in charge of everything, including child care, house work and maintaining their jobs.

Guess what happened? The men said they were exhausted.

5 Quick Renewal Tips

From my experience coaching working women, I find that few stop and celebrate themselves. (And yes, I find this with men I coach too.) Busy, busy. A tendency to move onto the next thing on the to-do list. A constant filling of time with electronic gadgets and mindless TV moments can strip us of energy.  Or, like many women I know, you may work through the weekend doing paid work or unpaid (yes, “second shift” housework).

In honor of spring, I thought I’d share a few quick tips-into-practices-into-habits that my coachees have used effectively to to boost their energy.

I’ll tell you the spring secret upfront,

Tip #1: Say “No, because…”

Because is the most persuasive word, according to science. Melissa Dahl writes , “Getting people to carry out your bidding might be as simple as providing with them a reason, even if that reason is kind of dumb. That’s according to the new book Magic Words: The Science and Secrets Behind Seven Words That Motivate, Engage, and Influence , in which writer Tim David draws from research in psychology to show the near-magical powers of some very ordinary words.”

Because is magic…to a point. You need to back it up with confidence. Start practicing “No, because…”, look in the mirror and say it. Grab your partner or a friend and practice it live. Focus on being a human being, not a human doing. Saying no more often and pair it with because to persuade others to take on whatever it is you’re saying no to. (Hey, parents have known this forever: “No, because I said so.”)

Tip #2:  Daily Celebration Journal.

Establish a 5-minute daily celebration practice. Set aside time each day before you go to sleep. Set a timer if you need to. Recall moments of “victory” and elation and energy that you experience during the day. Call out one thing you did that made a difference. I highly recommend you write down in a journal these celebratory thoughts but honestly, if you feel this takes too much time just say it out loud.

Some of my coachees, both women and men, email themselves notes at the end of the day on Friday so that on Monday, the first note they open is a celebratory note reminding them of what they accomplished the prior week. And, using my advice in A Self-Coaching Practice You’ll Love, one wonderful man recently wrote himself a “love letter” that included the success recipe he found for reaching a goal so he can
replicate the recipe again.

I promise you, investing 5 minutes a day to celebrate YOU, and a small or big success, will become a habit you love.

Tip #3: Monthly Celebration.

Schedule a monthly time with others to share and celebrate all that you’ve each juggled, succeeded at, or overcome–what you said or wrote down during your daily celebration practice.

Don’t wait for a birthday, retirement or other “occasion” to celebrate. Make this a group ‘meeting’ where the strength and power of celebration lifts up your circle of friends together. This could even be a call (you could use FreeConferenceCall.com ).

Keep it simple sweethearts, finish these sentences:  One thing I did that I’m really proud of is…  I’m grateful that I have the strength/energy/skill/drive to… I felt great because I/when I…

Tip #4: Watch your Language.

Do you listen to yourself? You need to. Women use the language of giving, apologizing, and minimizing. Notice times when you start a sentence with, “I’m not really an expert…” (you really are). Hear yourself saying, “Oh, I’m glad to help…” (you’re really not.) Listen to that voice inside your head that says, “I can take this on because no one else will” (someone else will likely do it if you remain silent).

Don’t dwell on what you notice, just notice. Then, start shifting when you notice yourself downplaying instead of celebrating. And, go back to Tip #1, dear readers.

Tip #5: Just Smile.

Back on January 1, 2015 I shared “ My One Secret For Your Extraordinary New Year .” That secret was simple: smile.

Feeling stressed, low-energy? Stand up, put your hands on your hips in superpower pose and smile.

One quick thing to do is put on your favorite tune. Pharrell’s Happy always does it for me. I also keep a few pictures at hand that I know will make me smile and pull them out when I need a quick smile break (like this little girl).

Spring into Celebration

These tips aren’t rocket science, they’re quick, easy and a great choice for you to make this spring. If you sometimes forget, let me remind you: YOU deserve more moments of joy, energy, and happiness. There’s only one of you: celebrate!