The overwhelming majority of people in the U.S. believe that other people cannot be trusted.
Pumping gas at a station just off I-40, a man wearing a dark, wrinkled uniform approached me. He carried a boot that had a few dollar bills sticking out and he asked, “Would you like to donate to the firefighters’ fund?” I replied, “Do you have some kind of identification?”
The man gave me a puzzled look, “no, not really ID, but there’s my fire truck parked right over there.” Sure enough, there it was.
According to the lastest General Social Survey,* two-thirds of Americans say “you can’t be too careful” in dealing with other people. When the GSS was first conducted in 1972, 50% of adult Americans said that people can be trusted. Forty years later, not only do people in the U.S. distrust the government and institutions like Wall Street, banks and churches, we Main Streeters don’t trust one another anymore either.
Perhaps because I was raised in a tiny heartland town or simply possessed the naiveté of youth, I used to have a high degree of trust in other people. In law school I remember being shocked by Professor Berger’s advice:
Trust no one, sue everyone.”
He was joking, or at least I think he was, yet that advice stuck with me much longer than introduction to property law. Today, ‘trust no one’ seems to have seeped into the American water supply. Obviously, I’ve drunk that water too, just ask the firefighter in Arizona.
The trust deficit in the U.S. has tangible, harmful consequences. Widespread distrust curtails our ability to solve problems. Distrust breeds incivility from Main Street to Washington, D.C. Without trust, engaging in productive dialogue, shared action and accountability is darned near impossible. Distrust compels us to hunker down with our tribe: people who look like, sound like and earn like us.
How might the U.S. begin reversing our distrust trend? President Nelson Mandela’s approach to trust-building offers us a framework:
Lead Forgiveness as Individuals. Mandela made crystal clear that as an individual, forgiveness guided him. He spoke about forgiveness, he acted in forgiving ways. Mandela not only modeled forgiveness, as a leader he went further by articulating his expectation that others forgive too. Ghana’s President John Dramami Mahama reflected upon this in the New York Times last week:
We all waited for an indescribable rage, a call for retribution that any reasonable mind would have understood…
Yet, the man insisted on forgiveness. ‘To go to prison because of your convictions, he said, ‘and be prepared to suffer for what you believe in, is something worthwhile. It is an achievement for a man to do his duty on earth irrespective of the consequences.'”**
Establish a Healing Structure. Mandela’s use of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission exposed governmental and individual wrongdoing that started the national healing process. Many other nations have used restorative justice truth commissions successfully, including our neighbor to the north, Canada. Imagine, if rather than unproductive U.S. Congressional hearings or the expenditure of resources on individual prosecutions took place, we employed a Truth and Reconciliation process?
Get Out & Smile. We are all familiar with Mandela’s gorgeous smile, his ability to go out among the people and interact with humility, love and humor — that built trust. Can’t we all get out and smile? Getting out from behind our computers and TVs, looking up from our smart phones, taking public transportation or going to public parks and public meetings — that might be a great trust-building start.
I’ll be reflecting and setting new intentions around my own diminished trust level aw we approach a new year. If you’ve got ideas for me and for America, I’d love to hear them!
*Access the Associated Press/GfK Communications General Social Survey at http://ap-gfkpoll.com/main/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/AP-GfK-October-2013-Poll-Topline-Final_TRUST.pdf .
**Mandela Taught A Continent to Forgive at http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/06/opinion/mahama-mandela-taught-a-continent-to-forgive.html?_r=0 .
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