Question: What Have You Learned from the People You Mentor?

Guest post by Susan Caba, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Leadership Fast-Track and co-author of BreakPoints – Where Businesses Get Stuck …. And How They Get Unstuck!

Are your professional–or even social–relationships a two-way street of learning and  benefits? Shouldn’t they be?

This is a column of questions. Be forewarned–I don’t have the answers! I’m just asking.

I was thinking the other day about a close friendship with a woman in the field of psychology and business coaching. She’s not a mentor, per se, but I’ve learned so much from her over the years–about leadership, business, communication and myself.  I’ve made changes in my behavior and life, based on insights I’ve gained from “Edna.” I believe I’ve made that explicitly clear to her.

We’ve had a little rift lately and I’m feeling under-appreciated. (Okay, maybe I had myself a little pity party.) And I got to wondering, “What would Edna say she has learned from me?”

I’m sure there must be something, because relationships in which the benefits only flow one way aren’t satisfying over the long term. I know that, on a personal level, Edna (not her real name) considers me supportive and insightful. There have been instances she’s discussed a work dilemma with me, and she’s reached a solution by the end of our conversation.

But I’m wondering if there is any area in which I have had a fundamental influence. If so, I don’t think I’ve heard her articulate it. Notice I said, “I don’t think I’ve heard…” It may be that she’s said it, but not in the way that I recognized or absorbed. She and I have different styles of communication.

I’m going to ask her, once we mend fences.

And that got me thinking about leaders and mentors, and their relationships. Good leaders are always learning and evolving. Surely, some of that change must be prompted by insights they gain from, for lack of a better word, subordinates.

Because mutual learning is, in my view, is part of what gives a relationship dignity. The best teachers interact. They learn, don’t they, from their students? Isn’t there a value in letting your colleagues–including those who report to you–that they have contributed to your learning?

To take it a step further, isn’t that value enhanced when you explicitly tell that other person what they have contributed to your intellectual, social or professional development?

What do you think? What has been your experience?

Susan Caba is a writer, editor and ideas person. Connect with Sue at www.linkedin.com/in/susancaba .